I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
i now understand why vodka
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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