All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
