All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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