just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Send help, water and tortillas.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
