i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
