I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
