At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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