Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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