I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
