I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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