I want to have your abortion
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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