Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
