is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
