Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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