I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
