I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize