She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize