Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
