dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize