i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
