officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
