we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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