My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize