you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Let's get the cat blown out
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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