HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
