The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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