Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
