Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
