just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
