I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
