ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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