Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
