He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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