I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize