I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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