They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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