I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
