we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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