Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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