dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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