The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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