Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
