I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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