thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
