his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
they're like a gay fantastic four
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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