where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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