omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
