The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
