better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize