I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We left the knife in your bed.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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