then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Operation Purity has been aborted
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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