how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
