dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
