Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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