if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
