I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
