He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
