so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
