This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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