In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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