I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
