On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
