The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
