yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
