There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
