dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You ruined the universe
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
