playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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