I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
