Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize