Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
