I could have mohawked her pubes.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
