We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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