so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize