Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
