Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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