he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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