is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Barsexuality is the new black.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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